http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6492354?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
This article shook me up. It reminded me so much of a friend that I used to have, and I identified with it a lot. It terrifies me that he had gastric bypass, but still couldn't keep it off. I don't want that to be me.
So today I've been thinking about the mind games that I play with myself. It starts first thing in the morning. I don't want to eat anything, because that sets the tone for the whole day. It's a struggle right from when I get up. If I'm exhausted, all I want is coffee. If I drink coffee, I feel like my whole day is shot because of all the sugar and cream I put in it.
I make the kids breakfast and I debate whether I'm going to eat the same. I think about my low carb stuff, but do you know why I don't drink it? BECAUSE I AM AFRAID OF BEING HUNGRY LATER IN THE DAY! So I don't eat, and am hungry anyways. I have been thinking this on a daily basis. I'm defeated before I put anything in my mouth.
I wish I'd kept the weight off when I started my new job.
I wish I'd dropped more before my surgery.
I wish I'd kept losing weight after giving birth.
I wish I'd never eaten my emotions.
I wish I didn't binge.
I wish.... I wish... I wish....
Something needs to change.
I need to buckle down soon and start making an effort. My next appointment with the nutritionist is the beginning of March and I've done nothing she's told me to. I also have a 5k to "run" in May. I'm due for my monthly weigh in and I dread it. I had gained last month and I doubt this month will be better.
Things I HAVE done:
I scheduled out gym time and am going to join on Monday. Scheduling it in is the big step.
I bought, and started taking B vitamins to help with my energy crisis.
I started this journal to start tracking binge promoters. I already noticed that I struggle with eating breakfast, and then want to binge when I get home from work. I also have a harder time when I'm short on money - these next couple weeks will be extra hard.
I got a full 2 week's supply of Atkins foods.
